Macrobiotic Life

I am posting copy of my conversation with a friend. My life odyssey is running in circles, I am facing the money ethic problem again and being worried with Planetar crisis

Hey bro
From our last chat, I tried freelance programming for 2 weeks (1 man haven’t paid as usually, other paid very cheap, I can’t compete to Indian programmers), but I have realised as many times ago, that I am not fulfilled with this type of work. I am still trying to think up another way how to earn some money. But I am too much influenced by the human/planetar crisis, our future on this planet. I am watching videos similar to Zeitgeist, “off the grid” and similar. I feel inside that I am really more attracted by nature, instead of the computer.. but I have one very disadvantegous side of me.. and that is laziness. I must face this fact every day when I am thinking about starting some physical type of work. I don’t consider many works as needed for this planet, I think the most needed are farmers, construction workers, food producers.. something really useful for other people. But I am degenerated by years of sitting infront of computer I would like to be strong enough to shift my career in a day and become a farmer.. but I am only thinking and pondering, watching movies, talking with people about it and nothing happens ofcourse.. so I become fed up with myself. And I know, that to be fedup with myself, is not a very clever way of living.. many spiritual practices talk how you must first be in love with yourself.. so I am trying not to be too hard on myself.. and days are passing away and I am doing nothing, have no direction
But I am more and more aware, that this society, if not changed, we have like 10-20 years on this planet.. and I am aware that the near future will bring many changes and maybe they will hurt many people around us.
Maybe I have become “gloom and doom” and I take it too seriously. But I just can’t take any job, where I will earn nice money and be blind to what’s happening around me. Once you realise, that all this economic progress of each developed country is here for the price of many people starving or death.. how can you take any regular job? Like 90% of all jobs are here just for money turning around, letting the financial wheel spin.. you know. And if we are not aware.. we are helping to destroy this planet with many present jobs. You know that all.
I am doing some gardening work a little and trying to educate myself about it (permaculture).
The next month, I am having a holiday at Corsica and then I will need to decide what to do next. I don’t know at all. Still the India plays a big part in my choices.